Ugh, so over myself!

I am the epitome of  "whah whah" Christian! Tonight, at church, we watched a film on human trafficking, and I was so convicted. Here I am, throwing a pity party for one, and there are countless women being forced into sex slavery.  Lord, forgive me for looking at myself and my miniscule woes.  During one portion of the movie, involving the little girls in Cambodia being pimped out by their parents, I was ready to call Frank and tell him to start packing, because we are moving to Cambodia! Extreme! However, at the end of the movie, the call to prayer was implored! That is when I had the light bulb moment. I am a  stay at home mom with two littles...I can pray!  I can pray for our officials to enforce stronger laws.  I can pray for laborors to be sent out to minister to these innocent girls. I can pray for their freedom and salvation! I can pray for the women here in Mallorca...I can and will Pray! Why not join me?

In Him,
Darla

When things are hard

Life is hard, right? But at times, it can be especially hard! Almost unbearably hard! Sometimes you want to curl up in the fetal position and just escape it all.  

Life can be like the hill by our lil place. This hill is the hill of death!! I mean you get to the top and you are winded and can’t breath; you got the full heart palpitations, can’t talk, can’t think kind of winded! My first time going up was brutal.  I had to stop and take mini breaks. When I reached the top, I looked down and never wanted to climb the hill ever again! BUT, that gargantuan hill is the quickest way to get to our church.  It also leads you right to our lil neighborhood market called BIP. True, it may be a killer hill, but it also is essential for reaching vital destinations.

Isn’t life the same way at times!  We are faced with this killer trial, and we are like drowning and crying out for help.  What we often (I) fail to realize is these difficult sometimes agonizing trials are essential for building our character and ultimately drawing us closer to HIM. When we feel like we can’t take anymore and like we are dying inside...we kind of are.  That part of our character that is being stretched is actually being molded and exchanged for His glory.  The old self is being killed and we are given a new character.  However great this process is for us, it hurts and it is hard.   

Currently, I feel like God is taking every area of my personality and has just capsized my lil cute sailboat called life.  I used to work full time as a teacher, now I am a full time stay at home mommy.  I was incredibly social, now not so much.  I was so independent, now I have to constantly be asking people for help.  I was an excellent *wink wink* driver, now I am asking God for mercy every time I drive the kids to the market in our lil stick shift fiesta.  The list goes on and on!  The point I am trying to make is, I had to get to a point where I just had to stop fighting all the change and just surrender.  I had to accept the fact that my children will always be with me.  I had to accept the fact that life is not all about having fun with other people, rather I have to create fun for my littles.  Working at home...WOW! It’s no joke! I have to embrace and love my lil home. I have to accept Change! I have to choose to walk up the hill! However, I do not have to do any of this alone.  On the contrary, Jesus has been by my side, in my thoughts, and in my heart every step of the way!

Please believe me when I say I have not arrived to the point of full acceptance, but I am gradually getting closer! Every day that I choose to be content with the new me, I take a step closer. And even on those days when I am kicking and screaming inside, I am so blessed to have Frank to remind me and encourage me with All that God has done! I am reminded of a verse in Jeremiah 4:4:

“O people of Judah and Jerusalem, surrender your pride and power. Change your hearts before the Lord, or my anger will burn like an unquenchable fire because of all your sins.”

I HOPE TO ALWAYS CHOOSE SURRENDER! I hope to see the killer hill and say, “ok Lord, let’s do this!”  I hope to be like Christ when He prayed, “Not my will but yours be done.”  I hope to one day embrace the hard times knowing that Christ is with me every step of the way. Who knows, one day I may even be able to run up the hill with ease!

In Him,Darleen