A year ago...

But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one

God is FAITHFUL.

He promised He would take care of us, and He has.

He promised to never leave us or forsake us, and HE has NOT!

He broke us.  We fought. HE won.

I wasted so much time feeling sorry for myself in depression. The joy of the Lord became my strength.

I complained. I was not content.  He was enough.

HE IS ENOUGH.

For a year we have lived in a new land.  A strange land. A different land. A beautiful land.

For a year we have learned that comfort is only truly found in The Word, in HIM.

We have longed for our families. Cried... Cried in silence as we spoke, looking at them but not being able to touch or feel their presence.  But you know what, God filled every void in our hearts.

To our families and care team:
THANK YOU.  Your faithfulness to support us in the call has been an anchor.  You have blessed us beyond measure.

All I want to say is Thank YOU LORD.
"You have called us higher, YOU have called us deeper, and WE will GO where YOU lead us LORD."
We love you Lord.
We are wholly yours.

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.

Deuteronomy 7:9

 in-flight selfie

 at the airport in Zurich 

 first day at church

  our one bedroom apt. for 3 months

 In Israel

 My 30th birthday

 Christmas

 Nichole and Anour's wedding

 In Croatia

 After church fun

 Luke and Annie's room

 In Soller

May we follow you all the days of our lives. 

On comfort

I am about to share something that may be horrific and grotesque to some of my readers.  You may never look at me the same way, want to unfriend me, or spread gossip all around the hood about me.  

However, some of you may relate.  You may even do the laugh of recognition, because you have the same struggle.  

None the less, I am compelled to share.

I am a creature of comfort.  What's the big deal? Right? Am I right?  Well, so much so, that some mornings I lag it on taking a shower until 12 noon…this is where the judgement may be kicking in. I love being in my comfy pjs and robe.  Crazy hair don't care. Slippers and coffee.  Ugh, I absolutely adore it. 

The problem is, my lack of a shower, affects my mood.  I get all moody and almost feel dirty.  I don't want to do anything. I often shy away from reading my Word.  Dishes pile up.  Kids running round jumping on the sofas.  I'm comfortable though.  

THEN…

Frank comes home... and cue Vador's theme song:  Dum dum dum, dum de dum, dum de dum….Oh SNAP!  I haven't showered!!!

You see, the other day I had an epiphany, a sudden manifestation.  While in the shower…I was thinking, Why do I fight taking a shower? When I am in it, I'm loving it.  I feel refreshed, and my mind feels sharper, and it's almost like I've been awakened.

So my epiphany was, I hate the transition from comfy to water.  There is a brief moment when you are exposed and are cold and vulnerable.  But then…there is the warmth that rains over you, and you are at ease again.  The water running over you, cleansing you, comforting you, and reviving you.

That is when the Holy Spirit whispered, This is what my WORD will do for you EVERY time you read it.  Ohhh!!  That is why we need the Word.  That is what is does for us.  It cleanses us.  It revives our spirits and our minds.  

That moment of exposure is what keeps some of us from the word.  We know what the Bible says, yet we know how we have been living.  We are exposed and are afraid that the Sword might pierce us, convict us, and we are not about that life.  We want to continue to be comfortable with the way we are living.  We want to be comfortable in our compromises. 

The problem becomes we choose comfort over being clean.  We rush past the mirror, because we know when we look in it we may not like what we see.  Or we prefer to mask ourselves as we are looking in.  The Bible says in the book of James chapter 1:

22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. 23 For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. 24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. 25 But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.

The word is vital in the life of a believer.  Every morning, we have the chance to read it and receive instruction and cleansing.  His word sets us FREE.  Free from the filth that the world throws at us and the filth that we pick up ourselves.  I mean, how many times do we wash our hands in a day.  Why? Our hands get nasty.  Well imagine the condition of our hearts and minds if we did not wash them clean.  If we added a smell to filth in our hearts and minds, how many of us would still have friends or people who would want to be around us.  Then there is the other extreme that might be overly clean.  They might end up not living life or missing out because they are too scared to get a spec of dirt on them. (I am being hyperbolic here).

We need to be clean. I need to be clean. Whether we want to or not.  IT is GOOD for us and for those around us.

With all my love,

Darla

On being a good mother

Yesterday afternoon Anna began to vomit numerously into the evening. Then, in the middle of the night Luke woke up coughing and proceeded to vomit through the night. So basically I had two sick, needy, and clingy babies and very little sleep.  Sound familiar?

Being a mother is hard. Wait, let me rephrase! Being a GOOD mother is hard! It literally takes every fiber within you and forces you to surrender all to these little sinners in training! I had been struggling on contentment in the home, and today I finally had a revalation! 

Anna had just woken from her nap, and she was hungry as always. So I put her in her high chair and began to scoop some steamed rice into her lil pink plastic bowl. As I was walking toward her, it dawned to me that I was serving her...like a waitress, like a servant. Then The Lord connected the dots! I have had a hard time with being home, because I was now called to literally serve my children. To wake up and feed them, change them, love on them, listen to them, talk to them, play with them, serve them, teach them, them, them, them! Darla in the flesh is all about serving myself! Take care of number one! 

It all makes sense now! The battle is dying to myself. Working diligently in my lil quiet home with just my two babies where there is no applause, no pats on the back, no raises, and basically no audience but my littles. It is not about working hard for the show of it, now it's about working hard with integrity of the calling of being a godly mother. Now that I have the right perspective, I am so pumped to start afresh! For His mercies are new Every morning! (Lamentations 3:23) I am so inspired by Job, who faithfully got up early to make sacrifices for each of his children. Who regularly interceded for his children with no witness but The Lord! Not looking for the title or recognition of Father of the year! 

So why die to self for our children? Because in doing so we are learning what Christ lived: Service, humility, integrity, and selfless love! 

Sending love to all the mommas out there! 

Darla

Such a great quote! I promise I found it after I typed the blog.

True that!

Nothin like the WORD

On Choices

I love resting in God's presence.  There is no other place where I can be complete and whole!  I love that worship woos us to a tender place of awe and surrender.  I love that when I worship, I get a glimpse of what heaven will be like. My heart longs to attend the biggest night of worship ever!  I love that when I come to Jesus humbled, broken, empty, longing, and desperate, He immediately reaches down and listens to my cries.  

May I encourage us all to choose Jesus first and foremost above everything else. May we recognize how desperate we are without HIM. May we stop fighting, ignoring, and simply disobeying him.  May we truly just choose surrender.    

I know it is the hardest thing ever.  But we need it.  Surrender is for our own good.  Our lives are not our own; remember we were bought with a price.  So why would we try and keep our lives from the one who bought us with His own blood?  I can just see us holding on to it like Gollum repeating my precious!!!  I know...I did this for many years.  Believe me when I say life has been so much more exciting now that I have finally let go.  

So what am I saying?  God is and has been undoubtably speaking to your heart on one issue or another.  Lately for me it has been on laziness and being content in my home.  I have a choice to continue to be lazy and miserable at home, which will affect my husband and children, (OR) I can choose to surrender my will for HIS.  That is it...simply a choice.  So what will you choose?

Love you all,

darla

Ugh, so over myself!

I am the epitome of  "whah whah" Christian! Tonight, at church, we watched a film on human trafficking, and I was so convicted. Here I am, throwing a pity party for one, and there are countless women being forced into sex slavery.  Lord, forgive me for looking at myself and my miniscule woes.  During one portion of the movie, involving the little girls in Cambodia being pimped out by their parents, I was ready to call Frank and tell him to start packing, because we are moving to Cambodia! Extreme! However, at the end of the movie, the call to prayer was implored! That is when I had the light bulb moment. I am a  stay at home mom with two littles...I can pray!  I can pray for our officials to enforce stronger laws.  I can pray for laborors to be sent out to minister to these innocent girls. I can pray for their freedom and salvation! I can pray for the women here in Mallorca...I can and will Pray! Why not join me?

In Him,
Darla

When things are hard

Life is hard, right? But at times, it can be especially hard! Almost unbearably hard! Sometimes you want to curl up in the fetal position and just escape it all.  

Life can be like the hill by our lil place. This hill is the hill of death!! I mean you get to the top and you are winded and can’t breath; you got the full heart palpitations, can’t talk, can’t think kind of winded! My first time going up was brutal.  I had to stop and take mini breaks. When I reached the top, I looked down and never wanted to climb the hill ever again! BUT, that gargantuan hill is the quickest way to get to our church.  It also leads you right to our lil neighborhood market called BIP. True, it may be a killer hill, but it also is essential for reaching vital destinations.

Isn’t life the same way at times!  We are faced with this killer trial, and we are like drowning and crying out for help.  What we often (I) fail to realize is these difficult sometimes agonizing trials are essential for building our character and ultimately drawing us closer to HIM. When we feel like we can’t take anymore and like we are dying inside...we kind of are.  That part of our character that is being stretched is actually being molded and exchanged for His glory.  The old self is being killed and we are given a new character.  However great this process is for us, it hurts and it is hard.   

Currently, I feel like God is taking every area of my personality and has just capsized my lil cute sailboat called life.  I used to work full time as a teacher, now I am a full time stay at home mommy.  I was incredibly social, now not so much.  I was so independent, now I have to constantly be asking people for help.  I was an excellent *wink wink* driver, now I am asking God for mercy every time I drive the kids to the market in our lil stick shift fiesta.  The list goes on and on!  The point I am trying to make is, I had to get to a point where I just had to stop fighting all the change and just surrender.  I had to accept the fact that my children will always be with me.  I had to accept the fact that life is not all about having fun with other people, rather I have to create fun for my littles.  Working at home...WOW! It’s no joke! I have to embrace and love my lil home. I have to accept Change! I have to choose to walk up the hill! However, I do not have to do any of this alone.  On the contrary, Jesus has been by my side, in my thoughts, and in my heart every step of the way!

Please believe me when I say I have not arrived to the point of full acceptance, but I am gradually getting closer! Every day that I choose to be content with the new me, I take a step closer. And even on those days when I am kicking and screaming inside, I am so blessed to have Frank to remind me and encourage me with All that God has done! I am reminded of a verse in Jeremiah 4:4:

“O people of Judah and Jerusalem, surrender your pride and power. Change your hearts before the Lord, or my anger will burn like an unquenchable fire because of all your sins.”

I HOPE TO ALWAYS CHOOSE SURRENDER! I hope to see the killer hill and say, “ok Lord, let’s do this!”  I hope to be like Christ when He prayed, “Not my will but yours be done.”  I hope to one day embrace the hard times knowing that Christ is with me every step of the way. Who knows, one day I may even be able to run up the hill with ease!

In Him,Darleen

On Loneliness:

Have you ever been in a crowded room and felt utterly alone?  Feeling close but so far from people all around you. Wishing someone would just touch your soul and give you comfort that only CHRIST can give.  Well, I have a confession.  I am lonely.  I have been lonely for a while now.  

Living on an island, serving the Lord full-time, spouse and two gorgeous children, and a new loving church family, how could I possibly be lonely.  You see, I miss my family.  I grew up in a typical Hispanic home where EVERYONE is in everyone’s business.  Mom, dad, Eta, and three sisters, I always had someone within reach.  Now, I feel as if the cord had been cut.  I thought I was independent, and if you ask my family they will say I was always doing my own thing, but the cord to my heart was still attached.  No longer.

My day to day life is exciting and vibrant.  The Lord is moving and stretching me.  My husband and I have been challenged and experienced victories on the daily, but I no longer am surrounded by my family to share it all with. Facetime calls are inadequate. They help, but cannot replace sitting down at the table talking, laughing, crying, and sharing.

 Reality is life goes on.  My families world did not end when I left.  No, they continue to move forward as they should.  My life did not end.  Rather, it became crammed with full-time mommy duties.  

Nevertheless, in my loneliness, sadness, and pain I heard a whisper, “I am here.” My heart shuddered!  He is here.  The voice continued, “I want to be your friend.” I lost it.  How could I be so blind.  My Jesus has been with me this whole time.  I was not alone.  How could I be when He promised me, “He will never leave me or forsake me?”  

I am learning to share my day with my Savior.  He loves me so much and died so that we could be together forever.  How could I not be His friend?  Yes, He took me away from it all, so He could woo me. He has drawn me to a place of absolute dependence on Him.  Funny thing is, I would not have it any other way.  He alone is all I need. 

 Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness. And he was called the friend of God. James 2:23

I want the same to be said about me. That I was called His friend!

In Him,

Darla